Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dragon found

Torre Pellice 18th May, 2009

The small village of Torre Pellice in the Cozian alps was today the site of frenetic activity as busloads of ufologists, meteorologists and arm-waving pagan arrived after a ball of fire was seen heading low across the valley on Wednesday night last. Dozens of eyewitnesses accounts from worried villagers described a smallish ball of fire heading from Rocca Bera towards Summit of Mt. Vandalino and disappearing in the region of Farcunira. ‘As soon as word got out’, said one irate villager, ‘the area started filling up with Tolkien fanatics’.

A meeting chaired by the head of the civil protection was held late last week in the Torre Pellice town hall to discuss the sightings and to reassure the villagers that the rumours which immediately began to circulate about a terrorist presence in the valley were unfounded. Present were the mayor and, unusually, the entire council which last met in its entirety just after the declaration of the second world war, showing the serious consideration on the part of the authorities that these sightings had provoked.

Several theories have been put forward to explain the phenomenon including ball lightening, meteorite impact, the second coming of various prophets, wind gusting paper from bonfires and Tibetan flaming balloons launched from the sizeable Tibetan community living below Rocca Bera.

The police have been conducting investigations up and down the valley since the incident occurred and scientists and top-level forensic team were brought in on Saturday. The event though still remains a mystery.

However after a walking trip to the Farcunira gully late last week Mr. Woozle, a resident of Torre Pellice, may have unwittingly provided the answer, ‘it could have been this bloody titchy dragon I found’ said Mr. Woozle whilst holding up the photo he took on Saturday.

Mr Woozle, 32 a white Briton from England, divorced and the father of 11 children, found the creature lying on the path just below the summit of Mt. Vandalino in the Farcunira gully.

Mr woozle immediately took the body to the authorities. Pathologists later the same day confirmed that it had been dead for no more than a few days which ties in perfectly with the sightings. Singed grass was later also confirmed to have been found at the site by police flown in specially by helicopter.

Biologists have classified the dragon as an opossum-dragon (Draco pongybotomis) a species thought to have died out in the valley in the bronze age.

The authorities are not confirming that the fireball and dragon are connected but the discovery of an albeit dead but recently living example of a creature thought previously to be extinct has begun to worry local residents who met today calling for official intervention to protect sheep and cattle on the high pastures and allow farmers to shoot on site… scientists today revealed.

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