Friday, May 16, 2008

Health Cup

I am sure that, when you are born you are born with a sort of health cup somewhere within you. This cup, when the evil stork drops you under the bush, she fills it up with a quantity of ill health, probably depending on her mood (I can see no other reason for it). Some people have big cups, some small, some get huge ones and die in infancy and others hardly have one at all like Lauras 106 year old granny. What I think happens is, that you are forced to have a degree of ill health unless the stork was in a particularly good mood. I mean, all this weight in a beak must get stressing after a while. So for example, now I have got rid of the need for medicines to control asthma and now being healthier than I ever have been. I am too healthy for my cup. My health cup is not full and needs some topping up. So, for me, recently I woke up with a ringing in the ears, like after a particularly good rock concert. Sometimes it is almost unnoticeable other times I can’t sleep or it wakes me up. I had a hearing test and my hearing is perfect which means no more pretending to not to hear she who must be obeyed. So I have another appointment next week to delve deeper. But this I can handle at the moment it’s not painful or really annoying or anything. What is painful and annoying and potentially even more painful is the breaking off of two teeth. And I mean just that, they just snapped off. Chewing on a bikkie. I didn’t even get the satisfaction of a toffee. I went to the dentist, to get an estimate. Well let’s put it this way, he took an imprint had a poke around, smiled to himself and went to look at a Porsche catalogue to choose his next car and told me to come back next week for a panoramic x-ray and to have my teeth cleaned and then talk about an estimate (which gives him plenty of time to tour the car showrooms. In the mean time I have a whole week to think about getting my teeth cleaned. Drill me, inject me, pull teeth even but don’t clean them. I LIKE tartar you can have it on steak. Aarrrgh. It doesn’t seem possible that they haven’t invented an alternative. Thinking about it with the so called (doubtful) human progress I am surprised that they haven’t invented an alternative to the dentist yet. They always tell you the same things dentists. You have an overbite and your left molars don’t touch. NO!!! No Go on! I didn’t know. I mean I obviously haven’t consciously been living with my mouth for the past 40 years. What a shock! An over bite? good golly! But anyway he seems a nice enough chap and he is working in a hospital which is another plus and they have all the equipment there and he washed his hands 5 or 6 times when I was there and used gloves and a mask which the last one didn’t. Needless to say I didn’t go back to him. This one definitely seems professional. So let’s hope for the best.

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