Thursday, July 3, 2008



Just once in this my life I want to see one of these people who designs electrical things on the same stage as those that write the manuals of the things that were designed, to see them publicly humiliated on prime time TV. I want revenge. Revenge for all the hours of suffering they cause people. TVs videos, mp3 devices, CD players, computers and so on. I want to see them stripped naked and flogged through the streets wearing streaky lipstick, floppy rabbit ears and a rose up their bums.

I have just, yet again fallen for the petrol coupon trick and am now the irate owner of a totally useless LG electronics fm37 mp3 device thingy. 70 euros wasted on rubbish. I already have an mp3 player which works very well I didn't need another one. I wanted the film function, just that, but dear LG, can you manage to produce a product that actually does what you claim it does? NO. Even your website is rubbish. I wish I’d had a look at it before so I could have seen what sort of minds you have. An what about the battery charger. Don’t we need those anymore. How am I going to charge it on holiday if I haven’t got a charger. “May not be supplied depending on model” you say. No mention of the type of charger so one could go out an actually buy one.

LG sit up and listen and you look at me when I’m talking to you. I want to see you all suffer. Do you hear me you bunch of scabs? The machine device thingy may be excellent as you and all the reviews say but your instruction manual and the program to convert the files is RUBBISH. Why oh why (woozle breaks down sobbing at this point) can you not design a program that simply does what it has to do. I have a file in WMV, I want to convert it to AVI or whatever WHY can you not just do it? Why do you have to complicate things so much with useless words and icons? Why can’t you pay a decent translator to translate the freaking manual into a known language because the English you use is not a known language. You are imbeciles. All that work gone into building a device and all rendered useless by your incompetence in doing the simplest part, designing a program and writing a manual. I am presuming that you write a manual because you expect some people who buy your product to actually need to read it so why not write it for those people. If you intend you product specifically to be restricted to the under 22s (who usually don’t need a manual and don’t need to waste a whole evening trying to figure things out) please write it on the box.

“Warning for competent computer analysis only.” Or “do not buy if you’re going to need to read the manual”.

I connect the device to the computer, open you program I click on the button which says convert and you tell me to “refer to the codec description of help”. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? IS THAT ENGLISH IN YOUR OPINION? DO YOU HAVE BRAINS? (mind you I worked for fiat for years translating car manuals so I know that people who write manuals don’t have brains thus bit of a silly question really but hey, it’s a rant, so what the hell… ) So I give up with the conversion after all your device reads AVI and MPEGS doesn’t it? And i have those. Pity it won’t read any of them. WHY?? Do you not know what formats your bloody machine reads? Please let me know I would be so interested to hear. So I have systematically loaded every format know to mankind and each one gets the same message - “not supported”

If the problem had ended here I would have thrown the thing away and thought nothing more of you crappy product. If only. I had a good program on my computer which read everything, now, after installing your rubbish program, my program is no longer functional. Who the hell asked you to put your program as a default. A pox on you all. May your wives all find lovers, your children despise you and you become homeless and agoraphobic for the rest of your lives eating out of rubbish bins and drinking out of lavatories. And, in addition, as if this wasn’t enough, since I installed your program the computer has gone haywire. Bits of word and google and icons everywhere. May your body hairs grow inwards and may you itch uncontrollably till you repent and ask forgiveness from all the people like me who have spat low-fat yogurt at the screen out of sheer frustration at your incompetence.

And when you switch the damn thing on , what is the message I get? LIFE’S GOOD well you got that right didn’t you. Life’s good, very funny. With your product life isn’t because you realize that there is no justice because is there was YOU, LG, would be out of business. And if this blog serves to prevent just one other poor sod from buying your product then it will all have been worth it.

Diet. Well i'm presuming that the 2 extra kilos, the cause of the diet, melted off as the boar meat got digested so my original weight at the start of the diet was 80 kg as it has been for a couple of years now - no more no less . Last night and this morning i have reached just under 77 kg. Three kg. in a week seems ok, 5 seemed a bit to much so the only explanation i can give is that. I feel a bit weaker than normal but other than that not too bad. I'm starting to count the calories in everything and it's amazing just how much junk i was eating. I have reviwed my objective down to 70 kg at least. Stomach still looks like a watermelon though. The fat is probably coming off my brain first.


No comments: