dangerous chocolates

We don’t give the howler chocolate or sweets. She is two. She has her whole life to earth them if she wants. In the first three or four years of life nobody needs sweets and chocolates and what she’s never had she doesn’t miss. Sooner or later she will discover them.

So I find it annoying that our local chocolate company caffarel at Easter and Christmas and so on finds it necessary to present the playshool with bags of chocolates for the kids whose maximum age is 3. I cannot believe they do this out of love. If they wanted to do something positive for the playschool, toys would I’m sure be more appreciated. I therefore see it as just another company taking the opportunity for free publicity. Get the kids used to that caffarel taste as early as possible. I have always been annoyed by this and the chocolates get binned instantly.

But this Easter I am particularly angry and will be writing a particularly angry letter to the manager of caffarel telling him or her so. This year they gave each child an Easter sheep with a bag of chocolates attached to it’s chest. One of these animals that you push a button in its paw and it snores.

The chocolates was in a sealed plastic bag inside a sealed netting bag firmly tied to the sheep’s neck. Just visible in the plastic bag behind the chocolates there was a piece of paper folded face inwards and therefore impossible to read. I could not remove the chocolates from the bag without scissors nor could I remove the chocolates from the neck of the sheep.

As the sheep were put in the kids pigeon hole at school as soon as they came to get their coats on to go home they saw them and of course a battle ensued to prevent them wanting and consuming the chocolates. I gave the sheep to the howler to play with in the car, negligent parent that I am, after trying to rip the chocolates off the front.

After a while the howler got fed up with the thing and lobbed it onto the floor of the car. When I got home I retrieved it and as I picked it up it attacked me. On its chest there are three lines of abacus felts held together by three lengths of thick wire hidden by the chocolates. The ends, after 5 minutes of the howler playing with it, were bent outwards and one of these slipped painfully a quarter of an inch into my finger joint. I had to use force to get it out. Amazing how these small deep penetrating wounds get you feeling sick instantly. Then I got angry and cut the chocolates away and looked for a health warning which I found. It was the piece of folded paper inside the chocolate bag inside the netting bag. It said not suitable for children under three years old. So caffarel, what the fuck are you doing sending these things to a playschool where there are no children over three years of age? If my daughter had stabbed her eye with it or stuck it through her finger like I did? It would have gone right through hers. I wouldn’t have thought it was even suitable for a four or five year old as it literally took a two year old a couple of minutes to produce three lethal looking wires. What were you thinking of? Believe me I am not letting this rest. EVERYBODY going to know.