Last night we armed ourselves with a big stick, head torches and a pack of orange flavoured tic-tac and went wolf hunting down in the woods. Despite a molestatiously large household population, usually hiding out either in the hall or in the next room and often forcing us to hide under the bedclothes, wild wolves were few and far between. We knew they were there and we called and howled and poked about in bushes and puddles and piles of snow with the stick but by golly not a wolf did we see. The general intention of the expedition was to find one, bash it over the head with the big stick and feed it orange tic-tacs which of course, as is common knowledge, is the wolf’s favourite food. But there were no wolves about. Obviously the they had already gone to bed. We saw two brown eyes though which we thought might be a fox.